Young marriage. Why it is preferred nowadays.

Marriage. Roughly, it is known as a knot for a couple to be "legally together". Two being that are tied with a promise to help each other physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually and any kind of "-lly" that I can think of. Undoubtedly, in Islam, it is a way to overcome the "sins" that two people might do with each other. It is the key of preventing free-sex that had and has been luring through our society for a very long time. But there is also other ways of preventing one from getting themselves into that problem such as "fasting". I will convince myself upon doing so as a weekly practice.

From what I can see within our society, we are, undoubtedly, free to mingle with anyone within our surroundings. Speaking of this, I understands that it is not wrong upon the idea of getting to know a person among our opposite sex as a friend. I, myself, does find it as a learning process in order to know "how women are" in general. Do not get me wrong. Stereotyping women, I am not. I would prefer not to blame any sides over here due to the problem that is occurring worldwide, ever since a few generation after Adam started living on this Earth. In order to have a sexual intercourse that is labelled as "free sex", it must be participated by two people ( or more ), as a voluntary act. Unless if it is done by force, the side that is being forced to do so ( the victim ) will be judged as "not guilty" during The Judgement Day. In dictionary, the action is referred as rape or raped ( past tense ).

Again and again, "prevention is better than cure", isn't ? If you have done it in your past ( which I believe one in every two adolescent have tried it ), repent. He is Oft-Forgiving upon our past mistakes. This is something that I hold onto ;

"Past is past. No matter how bad we were, present is where we live. The Creator will not judge us based on our past if we repent"

Please, my wish is that many would understand that sex-before-marriage is something that is very harmful towards the current society, future generation and also ourselves. Therefore, if you are able to marry someone ( even with the assist of our parents ), go on. The society is a very dangerous place for two to label themselves as boyfriends and girlfriends or even towards engaged couples. Be strong, spiritually, before you let your boat sails into an open sea. Be the captain of your own boat, do not let others hold onto your navigation system. 

Based on psychosocial studies, within Erik Erikson's psychosocial development theory on the fifth stage which is known as "Identity vs Role-Confusion", this stage plays a very vital role in one self. It will occur to everyone around the period of 13 - 19 years old. We will let ourselves to blend into the society in order to find which social field are we good with and what role can we play within the society. During our schooldays, we have tried different type of lifestyles. I have done quite a number of bad deeds in order to get to know myself and I left those once I grew wiser ( hoping that I still am ). That is where many would stuck with their bad acts up until they enter the full grown adulthood or through becoming a parent to their own children. Worst case scenario, they are not able to eliminate those bad acts up until their final breath. It all started with negative social influence during the stage "Identity vs Role-Confusion". Not every friend we have is bad, get that point. Once they are "happy" with those hedonism ( putting entertainment as the highest life goal. As for this topic, social freedom ) lifestyle, we would most likely go astray into the dark valley for quite a long time. My intention upon writing this blog is solely to go against the free-sex-before-marriage trend that many adolescent are practicing. 

Being a husband/wife, father/mother, brother/sister-in-law, son/daughter-in-law is never an easy role, undoubtedly. I am writing here based on my observations. But for me, if you are fully prepared to carry on with the decision of obligating yourself with these, I believe not to delay it. It demand us to be mentally and physically ready. Financial stability ? In The Quran, chapter Al-Nur, verse 32nd ( 24 : 32 ), it is stated that Allah would us help with His Vast Wealth. Why are we scared of not being able to financially sustaining our own family ?

I am not ready, I have doubts upon myself as for now. That is why I paused or hold my initial intention even though my mother had given me the full green light upon marrying someone else's daughter. I will do my best to make myself eligible by the age of 22 ( With Allah's Will , pray for me ). The responsible is enormous. I will take a little time to prepare my mind for it.

Study of these more, you will be needing to prepare yourself with vast knowledge, especially on parenting your own children. As an example, have you ever thought that the food that is served by our mother who takes care of her daily prayer can help her child's growth onto becoming a good person and believer ? Do you know by praying together at home as a unit ( family ), it can strengthen the bondage ? It may not seem as something crucial, but these little things would play a very vital part in educating your children.

Speaking of the wife's role and as the mother of her children, it is a must for her to educate their children perfectly. Building and preparing up her child to face the world is even more important than working as a CEO in a company and earns uncountable money ( as an example ). Because I believe that neglecting their wellbeing and character building is actually the same as not caring about how our future generation would be. Another reason of free-sex ? Parents neglected their parent-child relationships. They are too busy pursuing life materials. Are you scared of getting into poverty or would you rather see yourself being punished by The Owner of Heavens and Earth because of your children's bad acts and your own decision ? Choose your destiny. Life will always force you to choose your tomorrow. Our tomorrow is The Hereafter.

Every second counts, make the best out of it. Pick the best path, every decision we make will give different consequences in future. The highest priority, learn from it.